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If you decide that you and your children are best served by your financial independence and cutting monetary ties with their dad, splitting hairs over what those payments are called is merely a matter of semantics — not ethics.I don’t run many guests posts, but happened upon Elliot Scott, a dating coach who had a lot of really smart things to say about men and women and how we can relate better. Single moms are indeed stigmatized in some dating circles.In today’s culture, success is defined by looks, yes, but also the very qualities that are unique to single mothers: A single mom knows first-hand what responsibility is.She knows true love and has demonstrated emotional connection that childless women have not.I also understand that you’ve had your heart broken by not-so-great guys. Look at yourself and your life through the eyes of the type of man you desire. You’ve already proven that you can handle so much, and move through hard times with grace. They have dynamic careers, are raising amazing children, and have full social lives.
That said, I can understand why mothers feel sub-par on the dating market.When you have the confidence to allow a man to take care of you, he feels masculine, secure, and devoted to you. Don’t worry about your mom bod, child, financial situation, or ex. Once the man sees this, he’s going to be attracted to you. If a single mother has the qualities of a single mom as well as the confidence to own it, she is in a league of her own.With confidence, you already own everything you need to attract a quality man. Elliot Scott is a women’s dating coach who lives in Seattle, Washington.In response to my recent Forbes column, ‘I Turned Down Alimony’ — 3 Women’s Stories, some readers bristled at one mom’s refusal of not only spousal support, but also child support — even though she was so broke post-divorce that she actually went hungry. On one hand, I urge everyone to pursue an independent life after divorce — and that includes financial independence.Depending on the custody and visitation arrangements, it may be fair and sensible for one parent to pay the other to help support the children.
A single mom is patient, open-minded, trustworthy, loyal, and selfless. She’s careful, sensitive, caring, loving, strong, and is on a goal of constant self-improvement. These are all qualities great guys are looking for.