Ocd cant take dating rejection
That distinction may simply be an expression of gender differences in mating and dating strategies.
The fact is, women are told that being sexually bold in such a manner is shameful and makes them a slut.
Record on the scale those times when your heart drops–hearing about the diamond earrings he bought his wife for her birthday, or his sudden interest in another colleague–and you swear you’re going to end it … Also document any symptoms of distress like weight loss, nausea, lack of sleep, distractibility, poor work performance, bad concentration, depression, tears, anxiety, and any concerns that friends have shared: “I’m worried about you” … And the more pain he feels from the withdrawal of his partner (or himself), the more desperate he becomes to patch up the sore with another dopamine and norepinephrine high. Review the feelings you listed under “joy” of step number one. If he made you feel attractive, then brainstorm about ways you can feel beautiful without him: a day at the salon, an outing with the girls, losing some weight, a new outfit.
On the other side, describe what it feels like when he hangs up abruptly because his wife walks into the room, or how you feel when he sets sail for a 10-day cruise with his wife and kids or a week’s vacation in the Caribbean. Do you feel like scum for saying things to this woman that would devastate your wife if she were listening. So, like Group Beyond Blue member Sal T, many people will attempt to connect again with a love interest even as the relationship produces much pain because, unconsciously or consciously, they are hardwired (our reptilian brains anyway) to pursue the spike in dopamine and norepinephrine of infatuation and early stages of a relationship. So pinpoint what you’re getting from this relationship. You need to know exactly what you’re getting, and why you’re risking so much to get it. List alternative and safe sources to get those perks Now that you know you’re counting on a married man to give you the thrill, the excitement, that you don’t have at home, you need to make a list of alternative and safe sources of getting that thrill.
But this same dynamic, that men think women are sexually as excited as they are, is getting in the way of men hearing the "No, we DON'T want to see that!
But, just like a recovering alcoholic does in the early days of sobriety, a woman or man crushing on an unavailable person can reduce his chances of falling prey to the seduction by recognizing the futile patterns. Bottom line: put the effort you’re investing into your affair into finding safe places to get your perks. Tell some friends In ending any addiction–and affairs and emotionally destructive relationships are addictions–you need to have at least two people to whom you are accountable.
Even if both promise commitment (at a later time, of course), a present commitment isn’t possible, which places the relationship outside of, well, reality. If it’s the newness that’s gone out of your own marriage, start a new project with your spouse, go out for a romantic dinner, head to the beach for the weekend, surprise him with a new look, buy him a new toy (like a new 3 wood driver, you know, golf club).
At least, in terms of sending the pictures unrequested.
Both males and females are commonly sending nudes of themselves to people they meet online, but women tend to wait until asked.